If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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