I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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