People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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