If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
