I showed him my bush... on skype.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
