she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
