under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
