the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
