Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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