your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
