There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
