my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
