i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
