I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
