Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We have so much sex to catch up on
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
