Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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