pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
