We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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