Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
