Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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