She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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