So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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