i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
