We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
