windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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