i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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