I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
