The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
