How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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