pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
