ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
