Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
