I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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