you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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