i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
