so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize