Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize