theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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