SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
