yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
