My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
