Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize