mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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