can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
