my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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