What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize