i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
