and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
