feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
