I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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