Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
