Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
