I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
