did you get engaged???
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
