We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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