Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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