oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We just shotgunned beers for America
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
