That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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