Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
