Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
