i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
