I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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