my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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