More tranny stories later!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize